Texts From Last Night

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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed

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  (608): and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed http://tfl.nu/yzqp
  Replies (9) Good night (1303) Bad night (3236)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth

  (330): View more from Ohio

  well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth

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  (440): i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth (330): well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth http://tfl.nu/ms7e
  Replies (25) Good night (5147) Bad night (684)
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  (858): View more from California

  Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.

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  (858): Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life. http://tfl.nu/3r58
  Replies (32) Good night (5097) Bad night (707)
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.

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  (985): any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window. http://tfl.nu/e2g8
  Replies (14) Good night (4242) Bad night (811)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Why am I in a dog kennel?

  (1-803): View more from South Carolina

  It was for your own safety

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  (803): Why am I in a dog kennel? (1-803): It was for your own safety http://tfl.nu/w7ni
  Replies (27) Good night (13383) Bad night (1709)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."

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  (214): I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused." http://tfl.nu/qcvq
  Replies (12) Good night (11765) Bad night (1236)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.

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  (248): We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment. http://tfl.nu/088o
  Replies (3) Good night (2758) Bad night (760)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle

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  (712): My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle http://tfl.nu/jmfk
  Replies (3) Good night (1484) Bad night (1099)
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  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  I wish there were birth control emojis

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  (918): I wish there were birth control emojis http://tfl.nu/p00p
  Replies (16) Good night (622) Bad night (927)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.

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  (248): I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start. http://tfl.nu/l2qb
  Replies (9) Good night (1412) Bad night (976)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?

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  (410): the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right? http://tfl.nu/bfic
  Replies (1) Good night (721) Bad night (392)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs

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  (902): I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs http://tfl.nu/ena6
  Replies (0) Good night (753) Bad night (373)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it

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  (832): I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it http://tfl.nu/3xki
  Replies (3) Good night (459) Bad night (645)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.

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  (303): Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt. http://tfl.nu/99hv
  Replies (3) Good night (1086) Bad night (282)
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  (650): View more from California

  Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.

  (415): View more from California

  Retirement sounds fun.

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  (650): Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea. (415): Retirement sounds fun. http://tfl.nu/wuz3
  Replies (2) Good night (529) Bad night (364)

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