Texts From Last Night

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  (646): View more from New York

  Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?

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  (646): Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton? http://tfl.nu/taql
  Replies (2) Good night (1381) Bad night (554)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she

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  (301): she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying (203): but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she http://tfl.nu/l9o1
  Replies (34) Good night (4673) Bad night (984)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth

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  (314): eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth http://tfl.nu/8d45
  Replies (26) Good night (1007) Bad night (4711)
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  (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...

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  (306): I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face... http://tfl.nu/9kl8
  Replies (9) Good night (1670) Bad night (4752)
• Favorite

  (601): View more from Mississippi

  your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...

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  (601): your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible... http://tfl.nu/v1vf
  Replies (33) Good night (7101) Bad night (1172)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her

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  (847): i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her http://tfl.nu/2g5w
  Replies (12) Good night (1053) Bad night (4254)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.

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  (651): I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old. http://tfl.nu/njv7
  Replies (13) Good night (5532) Bad night (1972)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?

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  (727): would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right? http://tfl.nu/emka
  Replies (7) Good night (3513) Bad night (1058)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight

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  (615): I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight http://tfl.nu/tvrj
  Replies (31) Good night (6805) Bad night (1838)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....

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  (630): It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so.... http://tfl.nu/umr8
  Replies (4) Good night (616) Bad night (1178)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.

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  (419): I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina. http://tfl.nu/vhcx
  Replies (6) Good night (1179) Bad night (386)
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  (209): View more from California

  i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious

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  (209): i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious http://tfl.nu/dwdz
  Replies (5) Good night (1092) Bad night (485)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways

  (425): View more from Washington

  so just a regular conversation then

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  (412): It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways (425): so just a regular conversation then http://tfl.nu/ie13
  Replies (0) Good night (522) Bad night (301)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed

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  (843): yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed http://tfl.nu/7mxw
  Replies (5) Good night (351) Bad night (542)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.

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  (732): Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife. http://tfl.nu/naek
  Replies (3) Good night (311) Bad night (846)

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