Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.