We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money