Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize