Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
