People in love make me want to vomit
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize