i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
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