your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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