If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
