Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
