yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
