i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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