i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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