don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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