weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
