we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
