Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
