I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
