RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize