I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
It's rum buckets o'clock
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
