The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Randomize
