the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
