Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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