sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
The uberlube is also flammable
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Randomize
