so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
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She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
It's never too late to be topless.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
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