he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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