Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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