Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
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