On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
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When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
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I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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