I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Green mimosas i think yes
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize