ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
