The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
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You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
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I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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