he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
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