Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
