listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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