I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I would ride that face into the sunset
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
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