If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Randomize