and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
so let's talk penis.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Randomize
