We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
