You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
