Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
