I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
