quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
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