In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
