Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
