Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Randomize
