best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
bring money and cleavage
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
