if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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