Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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