Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
