I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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