he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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