one two three fourrrrnication!
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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