I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
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