I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Randomize
