OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
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