yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
