Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Randomize
