he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Randomize
