just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
Randomize
