No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just want to make out with him forever
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
