So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
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