Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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