I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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